Does anyone else's toddler operate at only two speeds?
Nonstop
-and-
Stopped
That's it.
Our typical morning looks something like this:
Burkley sits up in bed and starts crawling around, generally trying to pounce on the dog who is sleeping peacefully at the foot of the bed, on which I too am sleeping...peacefully.
The dog jumps off the bed, starting a fit of giggles from Burkley.
He starts babbling and walking around the room, strewing objects into his own path as he goes.
If the door's not closed, he'll run out into the hall to greet our Bearded Dragon.
He crawls under the crib which is sidecarred to our bed.
He shimmies behind the bed and the wall.
He climbs over the bedside table to get his face right in my face.
He stops to read two pages of a book.
He blows his train whistle and puts it in my face so I will do the same.
He goes into the closet, pulling dirty clothes out of the hamper.
He picks up the humidifier (which is currently unplugged and not in use, because, um, we haven't really had winter yet??) and walks around the room holding it. He drops it. "Uh oh!"
He brings me a book to read him.
By this time it has been about 15 minutes and the raucous has made me fully awake.
I get up, take him to his room and put him on the changing table where I proceed to take off his jammies and he proceeds to throw a fit because for five seconds he has to lay down and be still, which he's not. He's a mess of squirms and wiggles and I get off his jammies and his dipe, and take him to the toilet.
He sits on it (backwards), grabs the seat lid and bangs himself in the head with it a few times for good measure before peeing. Then, I set him down for a second and he dashes off, naked, while I use the toilet myself.
I start the bath water and chase him around the upstairs- generally he has poised himself on our bed to read some books and occasionally while sitting there, he pees (again- even though he JUST went two minutes ago).
I grab him and take him to the shower with me.
He plays with toys on the floor of the tub while I shower.
I get out, get dressed, and then prepare for myself for the BIG wrestling match that will soon ensue.
I grab his towel and get him out.
I dry him as quickly as I can before he runs off, nakey booty and all down the hall.
I slather some baby-lotion on my hands and run after him, rubbing it on whatever appendage of his I can, usually while crawling on my hands and knees chasing after him.
Then, I reeeeeeeeeally wrestle with all my might to get him still enough to get his diaper or Skivvies on. (Hey, speaking of Skivvies, did you vote for Burkley in their contest? We really would love to win some more skivvies!)
Clothes happen gradually. We start with socks, generally, because I can get him to sit on my lap for 2.4 seconds if I put something in his hands to entertain him while I slip those on at lightning speed. Then I attempt to slip a onesie over his head, get his arms through, and he's off again! I chase him around the room, gradually dressing him with pants and a shirt before thinking about combing through his ratnest-just-washed-bedhead. He does kind of like this though, so I grab him, take him to the bathroom, sit him on the toilet or on my lap and comb his hair.
Next, if it happens to be a day when he did indeed pee on the bed while nakey, it's time to change the sheets. Hey, let's be honest, if he didn't do this, I probably wouldn't change the sheets very often because I suck at that. So, in-between putting each corner of the fitted sheet on, I have to remove him from the bed which he inevitably climbed on. In-between the sheet, blanket, and quilt, I also remove him from the bed. By this time I've worked up a sweat and wondered why I didn't wait to shower until after this was done.
*Whew*
Then, we go downstairs for breakfast. I admit to leaving him in his high chair as I prep the meal AND clean it up just for my own sanity and rest.
Did you catch that?
Preparing and cleaning up a meal is considered rest at this point.
It's only 9:00am.
Nonstop
-and-
Stopped
That's it.
Our typical morning looks something like this:
Burkley sits up in bed and starts crawling around, generally trying to pounce on the dog who is sleeping peacefully at the foot of the bed, on which I too am sleeping...peacefully.
The dog jumps off the bed, starting a fit of giggles from Burkley.
He starts babbling and walking around the room, strewing objects into his own path as he goes.
If the door's not closed, he'll run out into the hall to greet our Bearded Dragon.
He crawls under the crib which is sidecarred to our bed.
He shimmies behind the bed and the wall.He climbs over the bedside table to get his face right in my face.
He stops to read two pages of a book.
He blows his train whistle and puts it in my face so I will do the same.
He goes into the closet, pulling dirty clothes out of the hamper.
He picks up the humidifier (which is currently unplugged and not in use, because, um, we haven't really had winter yet??) and walks around the room holding it. He drops it. "Uh oh!"
He brings me a book to read him.
By this time it has been about 15 minutes and the raucous has made me fully awake.
I get up, take him to his room and put him on the changing table where I proceed to take off his jammies and he proceeds to throw a fit because for five seconds he has to lay down and be still, which he's not. He's a mess of squirms and wiggles and I get off his jammies and his dipe, and take him to the toilet.
He sits on it (backwards), grabs the seat lid and bangs himself in the head with it a few times for good measure before peeing. Then, I set him down for a second and he dashes off, naked, while I use the toilet myself.
I start the bath water and chase him around the upstairs- generally he has poised himself on our bed to read some books and occasionally while sitting there, he pees (again- even though he JUST went two minutes ago).
I grab him and take him to the shower with me.
He plays with toys on the floor of the tub while I shower.
I get out, get dressed, and then prepare for myself for the BIG wrestling match that will soon ensue.
I grab his towel and get him out.
I dry him as quickly as I can before he runs off, nakey booty and all down the hall.
I slather some baby-lotion on my hands and run after him, rubbing it on whatever appendage of his I can, usually while crawling on my hands and knees chasing after him.
 |
Clothes happen gradually. We start with socks, generally, because I can get him to sit on my lap for 2.4 seconds if I put something in his hands to entertain him while I slip those on at lightning speed. Then I attempt to slip a onesie over his head, get his arms through, and he's off again! I chase him around the room, gradually dressing him with pants and a shirt before thinking about combing through his ratnest-just-washed-bedhead. He does kind of like this though, so I grab him, take him to the bathroom, sit him on the toilet or on my lap and comb his hair.
Next, if it happens to be a day when he did indeed pee on the bed while nakey, it's time to change the sheets. Hey, let's be honest, if he didn't do this, I probably wouldn't change the sheets very often because I suck at that. So, in-between putting each corner of the fitted sheet on, I have to remove him from the bed which he inevitably climbed on. In-between the sheet, blanket, and quilt, I also remove him from the bed. By this time I've worked up a sweat and wondered why I didn't wait to shower until after this was done.
*Whew*
Then, we go downstairs for breakfast. I admit to leaving him in his high chair as I prep the meal AND clean it up just for my own sanity and rest.
Did you catch that?
Preparing and cleaning up a meal is considered rest at this point.
It's only 9:00am.
Haha- this is such a great description of what it's like to have a toddler! You pretty much just described my morning!
ReplyDeleteLove it! My dad used to say "Young children need young parents" and I always remember that when I am chasing my own toddler. But my little guy spends most of the day naked because I just can't be bothered wrestling with him.
ReplyDeleteSounds like my daughter but she has slowed down maybe a teensy bit since she's older now (almost 3).
ReplyDelete